I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. – Holden, Chasing Amy
One year ago today I married my best friend in a ceremony performed by Mr. Miller’s best friend, Andrew, at a beautiful Italian restaurant surrounded by our families and closest friends. It was the best and happiest day of my life.
It’s often said that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I haven’t found that to be true at all. Maybe it’s because Mr. Miller and I lived together before we got married and already knew each other’s bad habits and weird quirks. I’m not saying that marriage isn’t hard because it is. It takes work and strong commitment. I’ve heard people say that marriage is 50/50. That’s not accurate. For a marriage to work each person has to give 100% all the time. Mr. Miller and I have both been married before so I’m sure that has helped in terms of how we approached certain things going into our relationship and now marriage.
Marriage is finding someone who will put up with your crap, embrace your weirdness, and still love you at the end of the day. I really hit the jackpot when I met Mr. Miller because he puts up with my bad moods, my leaving every single light on in the house, and me leaving my shoes everywhere like a freaking champ. He is super even-tempered so while he doesn’t have crazy mood swings like I do, there are of course things about him that I have to put up with. Like not scraping leftover bits of food into the garbage before he puts his plate in the sink or spots in the sink after he’s made tea (he makes fantastic sweet tea, by the way). Other than that he’s pretty much perfect. We both do things that annoy the other, but the point is, we keep on loving each other anyway.
Mr. Miller and I rarely argue. Oh, it definitely happens on occasion, and the funny part is that when it does happen it’s usually about something ridiculously silly. We’ve learned how to disagree with each other and that’s super important. We know that we’re not always going to agree on every single thing and that’s okay. Also, we’re willing to admit to each other when we’re wrong and we don’t gloat about it when we’re right. Except when it comes to any kind of useless trivia that I get right and he gets wrong. I gloat big time.
I’ve learned in this first year of marriage the meaning of “in sickness and in health”. Mr. Miller and I always take care of each other, but during this first year of marriage he had to have surgery and it was an eye opener. I say it was eye-opening because it made me realize how much I depend on him and how the tables turned and he had to depend on me. I had to step up in ways that I hadn’t had to before and I think that helped me grow as a wife. It also made both of us talk about the scary things that could happen that no one wants to talk about. We had to confront our fears, and it deepened our love and respect for each other.
It’s the little things in our marriage that mean so much to me. The small things he does are just as important, maybe even more important than the big things. Like when he brings me home a Coke Zero most afternoons, or when he cleans the litter box because he knows how much I hate to do it even though it was me who wanted the cat. Washing the dishes because I cooked, or taking me out to dinner when I’ve had a rough day so I don’t have to cook. It’s also the little moments. Those times when he sees something funny and can’t stop laughing that adorable laugh of his or how it tickles him when he pulls off a witty little zinger/joke. Those moments are the best.
Mr. Miller is the kind of guy who, after only a couple of months of dating, says “Let’s go to Philadelphia so you can see Gerard Way in concert” because that was the only place on the east coast I could see him and Mr. Miller knew how important it would be to me. (It was on that trip to Philly that he asked me to marry him. We went over to New Jersey on a Kevin Smith pilgrimage and he got down on one knee in front of the Quick Stop from the movie Clerks. Best “How He Asked” ever if you ask me.) He’s also the kind of guy who will sit with me through 4 hours of Gone with the Wind when it comes back to the theaters and not once complain about it. He endures my singing while we’re in the car and the Pandora Love Song station that’s always on. It’s for these reasons and a million others that I’m so thankful he’s my husband.
Mr. Miller isn’t just my partner for life, he’s my best friend. I tell him everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We’re both content in each other’s company and spend the majority of our time together. It’s definitely important to have hobbies, interests, and get togethers with friends outside of marriage, which we definitely do, but we love hanging out with each other even if it’s just sitting at home watching TV.
Saying “yes” to Mr. Miller when he asked me to marry him was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. Saying “I do” was the best and most happiest day of my life. He’s my rock and the person to whom I have given my heart, until death do us part. Every day is a new adventure and I’m so thankful he’s the one I get to walk through life with.
With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this ring, I ask you to be mine. – Part of our wedding vows, adapted from the vows in The Corpse Bride
Mike, you sweep me off my feet every single day and I love you today, tomorrow and always. I’m looking forward to celebrating our many anniversaries to come.