It’s been 2 years and I still think about you every day. I live in your house, and even though your things have been replaced with mine you’re still very much a part of this place, and in everything I do.
I keep a picture of you on the end table next to my chair so I can see your face everyday. There’s also one of you on the refrigerator door along with all of the other important people in my life. And one of you, me, and Dad on the hutch in the kitchen. I’ve never said this out loud, but in those moments of nighttime quiet when I’m in the living room by myself, and I see something out of the corner of my eye I feel like it might be you, here with me.
Whenever I see a cardinal perched on the fence I wonder if it’s you checking in to see if I’m okay. I’m okay, but I miss you.Sometimes when I sit out on the front porch I think of how you kept up with all of the gossip in the neighborhood, and always loved to talk about who was doing what, and with whom.
When I bake a cake in your kitchen I’m always hoping that you’re there, somewhere in my subconscious guiding me through the recipe. I truly believe your old cake pans contain some sort of mystical baking magic, and that’s the reason my cakes turn out so well – most of the time anyway.I will always fondly remember the 6 weeks I stayed with you back in 2001 when I broke my ankle, and couldn’t walk on it. You selflessly took care of me, and cooked for me, and helped me into bed at night. It took me back to all those times I wanted to stay over at your house when I was a little girl, and how you always made me breakfast. Grits and eggs. No one will ever make grits and eggs or scrambled eggs with cheese like you did. I will always remember sitting at the kitchen table with you watching soaps, In the Heat of the Night, Walker Texas Ranger, and all of those crazy judges shows you loved. I miss how during the last year you were with us you never let me leave without a hug, and an “I love you.” You smiled more, loved more, and laughed more during that last year, and that will always stay with me. I’m glad you got to meet Mike, and I’m glad he was able to meet you. I love that he was able to make you laugh. He knows so much about you, because I tell him stories about you, and talk about you all the time.
I am thankful to have had you in my life for 37 years, and when I find myself missing you I am able to recall so many wonderful memories of our time together. It’s so easy to be selfish, and wish you could have been with us longer, but God needed you there with Him. I hope you are resting peacefully. You may no longer be here physically but you will always be in my heart, and I know we will see each other again one day.
I love you Nanny, and I miss you everyday.