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There’s no shame in being childless

I am 38 years old and I have no children. I’m not sure how I’ve gotten to this age and still be childless. Life happens I suppose. A marriage that ended in divorce. Relationships that never worked out. These are the things that have left me without children. I’ve never said emphatically that I did not want them. I’ve always said that if it’s mean to be, if God wants me to be a mother, then it will happen.

Just because I’m not a card carrying member of “the mommy club” does not give you the right to shame me for it. You are no better than me because someone calls you mommy. You have no right to make me feel inadequate because I have not yet experienced the joy of having a child. Maybe that day will come. Maybe it won’t. 

Just because I’m not a mother doesn’t mean that I am clueless when it comes to how to raise a child. I’ve been in relationships with people who have children, I’ve been around some amazing mothers in my life, most of them are very dear friends. 

Yes, I understand that I do not literally no what it is like to raise a child from birth to adulthood, but I does not automatically make my opinions invalid. 

I do not judge you for having children. Do not judge me for not having children. 

I’m aware that I do not know what it feels like to be a stressed, overworked mother who sometimes wishes she could just run away for a day to have some peace and quiet all while still fiercely loving her children and never regretting a single moment. You’re right. I know nothing about that. But before you act all holier than thou and tell me that I do not know, just for a moment put on my shoes and consider that I would love to experience just a moment of that but may never get to.

The point of all of this is simply think before you belittle, dismiss or are unkind to someone who does not have children. The childless still have a right to an opinion on how to raise a child because we have hope that one day we might be able to raise our own. Some of you mommies out there might think we’re full of shit, but be a little more sensitive because you never know what that woman with no children is going through or has gone through.

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